Author's Note: Sometimes we write from the heart, compelled often times by the people or the events we have encountered. This is raw and heartfelt. I changed nothing. If the flow seems nuts, it probably is. It is a revelation none the less.

                                     Who knew?

There are times when a revelation will suddenly hit me. Now is one of those times. It seems another soldier has left our midst. I didn’t know him personally,but I read his blog as a lurker and because Blackfive mentioned it many times. Andrew Olmsted was serving in Iraq. He died on patrol after an ambush. He left behind a letter.
 
I, and many others have read this letter because he asked a friend to put it on his blogin the event of his death.

I was humbled by the grief of his family and friends. But what a great person to have known! Just follow the links below. I was moved by my perception that he did not fear death.

The revelation?

I do fear death. Is that a good thing? Or does it just mean I know I have more to accomplish and I am lucky to be able to do it because there are those braver than I? Am I a loser for knowing I could make the sacrifice and chose not to? Does it mean I don’t know who I am? I don't know.  Maybe some background will help.

As many of the TH peeps in my blog creeps who know me, I wanted to re-enlist because I felt that I could make a difference, just give back a little more to the Country and all I have been fortunate to see, do ,and be. Just that soldier/patriot thing in me, screaming to get out and put all that Army training to work maybe? I went several times to a recruiter after 9/11. They were not making any exceptions. I tried again last year after I read that they offered age waivers. I did everything necessary in order to sign on the line, and solemnly swear to support and defend. In the end, as a mother, wife, I could not do it.

Fear was my blocker. It was not fear of OCS or branch school, nope. It was not fear of being in Iraq. I love helping people and it would have been a pleasure to make a difference there.

After reading Andrew Olmsted’s Final Post, I knew what it was. The light bulb came on. It was merely the idea that the chances of an early death would prevent me from being a part of all the important moments in my immediate life. My children, my husband, the rest of the family. You name it. I had all the support from my husband I could ever ask for. Those closest to me know that my only regret in life is that I left the military. I “found” me while the in the service. It paved the way for the wonderful life I have with no other true regrets. (unless you count the non-existent child # 5!!) Just yesterday, my 8 yo said to me, “ Hey Mom, did you know that our family will never end? ‘Cause Gramma had a kid, you had kids, and we’ll have kids. Technically, we’ll never end, unless the earth dies first.” I got to hear it firsthand. I guess as determined as I thought I was to do the Military again, I want to be in as many of those moments as possible.

I know that we all make our choices, and the point is to be happy about what we choose. The Major was happy in his choice and I, with better understanding of that through him, understand now why I could not make that choice again. I wanted to be HERE! I was simply afraid to give control of myself to anyone but me. I could make the choice to drink and drive and kill myself or another. But I would not be given any choice should I miss the suicide bomber, or the IED trip that could waste me. Sorry for the visual, but, it does get the point across…

He was a very eloquent writer. We all like to think we have an impact when we voice our opinions, don’t we? He did and he IS impacting others.

I have more control than not at the moment and I know death can happen any time. Though I can be naïve, I know this.

I still fear death and dying, but I am so glad Andrew didn’t. May his family find solace in all that he has done before, and now, after. I believe there is closure in a dead person leaving behind the words that he did. And, I am betting there are more letters to his family forthcoming that will give them comfort in the days and weeks ahead.

“Well, it’s not how you’re buried, it’s how you’re remembered.”

And, he will be remembered without a doubt.

Saw this Video and decided it was a must share.

I got goose bumps and very teary. Simplicity and sincerity at it’s best.

I am following in the footsteps of Scottie over at the Heartland…I want to express my own heartfelt Christmas greetings to you all…I was inspired to blog because of wanting to be heard.

We all have our unique ways of telling I like it is…You know, GunnyG really lets it rip worse than myselfbut I love ya , man!!  Brian and Scottie have some very great perspectives to offer and I have learned from them. And, Pphil, I like yer style, too.

We women out here do tend to be a bit more expressive emotionally, me being the worst!! Pepp, gal, you are the least likely to be girly emotive, but always on it!

Fletch, man…You are still the economic God in my world. We have all missed you giving the good smackdowns to the dummies, though in your stead, I gave it a shot now and then.

I really feel like “our gang” of TH peeps rocks. And I have no doubt that if a “rise-up” is necessary, we would be one bad-asss MF team.

And Craw, I haven’t forgotten you…It was awesome to meet up with you at GOE3. I hope we can create a band of TH peeps who will continue to support the troops on the home front. I will do it forever, but having back-up is good…

To all those who frequent TBNC (or the Patriot Defender) but don’t have your own blogs, keep coming back. I enjoy knowing that I can get others to weigh in.

Mrs. Paddy, your parodies are the bomb! KTR, Keep on with your studies and the cartoons…we look forward to that! Let’s see, Doc, Squiddy, Rt Wing Hate Machine, Snarks and Meerkats, Manners of Matter and Type, and oh, yes…My ”I shake” sponsor Jimmy Carter- I am glad to read your blogs as well. Love the non-political perspective of JC!! I truly LMAO many times. Someday, we really should try to plan that VRWC BBQ. Hey Guns, ya listenin? Nee is ready and willing to make that happen. Otherwise, let’s talk the Victory Parade, July 4^th this year, in DC.

Lastly, let me say it has been nothing but a pleasure to find those who know what it takes to keep what we have. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Merry Christmas, with love and friendship, guys. Enjoy the photos. We look good, don’t we?

 
Homemade Angel Ornament from watching too much College Football back when we were kidless!  (But really she is here for the troops, those of our TH peeps who need some extra TLC and prayers. (Squiddy, P'con, Georgetwin, my friend Dave, Cousin Linda,RoundsOut...and anyone else who need it)

My new Red, White an Blue Converse Shoes! Perfect for a Patriot Defender!! Woo-hoo!



Merry Christmas from the Patriot Defender(Nee) and Family!

Ode, I am venting!!!

I am sick. I went to the doctor where I was once an employee. Woo-hooo!!

It actually happened just like I said it would. The sory:
I was looking for a job for several months. A chance meeting put me in touch with someone who needed my skills. I interviewed and got the job. Upon accepting, I went to a friend who could help me refine my new position, because her business had all the latest and greatest technology. It was a Medical Family Practice. I wanted to see how they went about seeking accreditation for being able to run a lab in their office. When I contacted her regarding a visit to check things out, she said she was looking for someone to help them with their accreditation. Wow! What would be the chances of finding two positions that required the same knowledge?

I offered to the friend that if they were still looking for someone, I could forward my resume to the Office manager. Eventually, we met and I interviewed for the same kind of job that I had accepted at another practice. This job would be 6 minutes from home. When they offered it to me, I took it. It was an updated facility and dealt with patients of all ages. My job was to get the lab up to snuff for performing medium complexity lab tests. This would require writing SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) manuals and getting this office a new accreditation for running a piece of Hematology equipment that was shut down due to lack of performance and QC (Quality Control)….that, meaning that patient results prior to this were erroneous and they could have been potentially sued. The machine in question was not paid for, and had not been operational for 18 months. This would mean that I would have to learn everything about the machine to get it up to snuff. A Rep for the company came out and said it would probably take me three months before I could report patient results. Well, aside from the fact that I am a well-trained Army Tech, this was right up my alley. Not only did I the machine up and running in 3 weeks, my linearity test was superb. Viola! The office could now run Complete blood counts (aka CBC’s). And, did I mention pay for the machine?

I had a long way to go to get the proper SOP written, but the important thing was that I knew my shitt. There were other lab procedures that needed to be written as well and all the staff had to be aware of the hows and whys of doing each test. Everything had parameters to be met and these guys were not lab techs. I did my best to get all the information down into a trainable class for educating the staff. In taking on the job, I also had to learn triage, computer, EKG’s and some other stuff. No big deal to be able to keep the docs on schedule. Except, add to that OSHA requirements, ordering all the vaccines and the medical supplies for the office. I was on the go constantly. My rule of thumb was that if I were going to come in and make waves, I should do it in the first three months. So far, so good, right? I took the initiative to get as much info as possible to make the things I was responsible for expedient. I could not, however order anything without approval of the OM. I just constantly gathered stuff. Well, the OM didn’t like that. She didn’t like that she could not control my every move. I did everything she asked me to do. But when it came to the lab, she had no authority, because she didn’t understand what it took to do what I did. And, that dear readers, was my downfall. She fired me. I have to say in hindsight, that I believe she only hired me to get the machine up and knew she would can me. I loved this job and I was highly motivated and qualified. Crushed, when fired. Shitt happens. On with my vent.

In order for the practice to become accredited they had to enroll in a program. Each year, depending on the complexity, there are a battery of proficiency tests that must be passed in order for patient results to be reported. And, an inspection showing proper QC measures, SOP’s, training of the staff, etc. When OM fired me, she did not even consider that nobody else was properly trained. Nope. I was a threat to her, so I was outta there. I did my best to warn the CNP/owner that the staff and lack of knowledge would be their downfall come September when the proficiency tests came and the result might be that they would be shut down. I did not want one of the other LPN’s taking the heat for the mistakes that would surely be made and I said so. Alas, it finally happened. I have been vindicated. They shut down the machine and several other lab procedures. They failed to meet inspection regulations or to correct any of the prior infractions of the certificate they already had. That, ladies and gentleman was MY job. And I had written seven SOP’s in six weeks that I was employed there, gotten our Lab Director situated and taken on all that other stuff to boot. All the OM cared about was the way she looked and not how patient care was conducted. The LPN in my place is gone, but the OM still has her job. I can’t for the life of me figure out why…she sucks at her job. And, the excuse given to me upon termination was, ”The providers don’t feel you are a team player!” My translation was that the OM was intimidated by my level of efficiency and motivation. I had rarely worked with all four providers and the other staff were just as baffled as I. NC is an “at will” state, so there was nothing I could do about being fired. The only thing I can say is that they are doing themselves a disservice keeping this OM on. They are losing money on a machine that is not paid for and they could do a whole lot more. The potential there is endless. But the docs have no time for business, you see. Hence, the OM can lie about my lack of cohesive work habits an fire me. No matter.

I was R-I-G-H-T!!!!

When: Saturday, December 15,^th2007

Where: Arlington National Cemetery/ all 50 States

Time: 12:00

DC Protest Warrior Chapter is looking for folks to volunteer to help lay the holiday wreaths at all the grave sites of our fallen soldiers at Arlington. I am not sure of the process, but I am sure if you show up, your time will be put to good use!

There are some 10K wreaths to be laid at Arlington, and 4k more to be used in ceremonies in all 50 states. All of the wreaths are being donated by the Worcester Wreath Company. For next year, you can sponsor a wreath if you like…click on the link below and check out sponsorship.

Can’t make it to Washington? Then check for the local National cemeteries near you!! They are shown by state.

As an aside…one of my favorite quotes on Freedom is by Ronald Reagan. It is also a quote on the Wreaths Across America site. I believe he said it in July 4^th radio address in 1986.

Gathering of Eagles

The GOE -3

As many patriots( yes, I distinguish us from the America Haters, even if they won’t admit it, yet) know, the Gathering of Eagles is preparing to descend on Washington, DC for their third event. Yes, the anti groups and blog sites are out in full force with their anti-American, anti-mission, anti-surge tripe just in time for General Petraeus’ visit to Washington to report on his success.

The anti groups are armed with yet more threats to denigrate the Memorials of the fallen and spit on those who still fight for their freedoms (whether they agree with it or not, this is the case.) They have already defaced a Navy Memorial with paint and a pink hat.

You know as Eagles, we are not letting that happen on our watch.

The Eagles have the support of many other groups. Rolling Thunder, Military Order of the Purple Hearts, Vets For Freedom, Move America Forward, Free Republic, and I believe the Patriot Guard. We all support the troops and their mission. We know the surge is working because the right man is on the job.

Remember-- anywhere, anytime, any weather. (Can I get a hell yeah and a hoo-ah,ooh-rah, or a hooyah...that's what I'm talkin' about!!)

We do not have any corporate sponsors that I know of…it is all individually sponsored by those that call themselves patriots, Eagles. How cool is that? Our beliefs and the hard work of all involved are what got us to this point. We stood and we will stand to show our appreciation and support for the Freedoms and liberties being kept safe for us by Them! Them, the Airmen, Seabees, Marines and the Soldiers. Them, the SEALs, Rangers, Special Forces. All of those who answer the call voluntarily and THEM, who make the ultimate sacrifice. We need the boots to be on the ground. Forget giving money. If you have ever taken a stand on anything in your life, now is the time!!! Come to Washington and stand tall. We are making a difference, no matter what we hear in the spew of the anti- groups. Those people are mere pisss-ants, in the immortal words of Mary Ellen Walton. They do not understand that we, the Eagles, supporters of the US Military and The United States of America know that commitment is what it takes to keep this Country and our fighting men and women on top. We are not about to let them give it away at any cost. No way. As a matter of fact, I received a thank- you from an Eagle’s brother…maybe the lefties who lurk at my site will see the effect we have on the troops…Read it below.